Living With An Old Man!

Well I’m about vent about an old man. Because he is about to make me lose my mind.

My youngest Son and I are living with my Ex-Brother-In-Law. Yes, I said “Ex-Brother-In-Law”. He was once married to my oldest Sister. Well, even though they are divorced he has always remained a friend of our family. And he’s a truck driver who is only “supposed” to be home one weekend out of a month. So my Son and I decided to move into his very large home (with a pool) and become his house sitters. He needed somebody to take care of his house, I needed to save up some money to buy my own house. Win, win right? WRONG!. Well my son and I have been her for approximately 6 months now and I’m about to go completely looney tune out of my mind crazy because of this lazy, crazy, stubborn, dirty, nasty not so old but looks really old….MAN!. You see he has been home now for over 3 WEEKS. And he does not clean up after himself, cook, or anything that may cause him to exert some sort of energy upon himself. And he has not bought groceries not once since he’s been here. OMG! He is the lazyest man I have ever seen in my life.

Here’s his daily schedule…..If he’s not out in the garage sitting at a desk watching tv, smoking cigerettes for hours upon hours. He’s laying on the couch watching TV for hours upon hours. Oh and don’t think for a minute that I’m not exagerating. That’s exactly what he does all day, every day. I cannot hardly stand this man. He is a 59 year old man that looks and acts like he’s 79. He was told a long time ago that he has to take a stress test for his job and if he doesn’t pass this stress test, he will lose his job. Well I go to the gym approx. 3 to 4 days a week and he told me he wanted to start going with me when he got home from being on the road. Well he has been here for 3 weeks and hasn’t gone once with me, or by himself for that matter. I told him I was going to the gym everytime and he’d always say he didn’t want to. He was too tired. He just lays on the couch or sits in the garage. He occasionally comes down the hall to go to the main bathroom which is right next to my room. And that drives me nuts because he refuses to lower the toilet seat. He lifts the seat to pee and will not put it down. I hate that! I think it is so rude. If there is a woman living in the house than all men should lower the toilet seat when they’re done. Thats just common sense and common decency!!! Right? Well not only that. He always closes the door when he’s done. And the bad thing about that is, there is a sky light in the bathroom, so it always looks like the light is on under the door during the day. So I never know if he or my son are in there. And I hate having to knock on the door all of the time. I told him there really wasn’t a need for shutting the bathroom door when he’s done. He said “it’s just habbit” I said “well do you think you can try not too?” He said “Sure”. But he still shuts the damn door EVERY SINGLE TIME! HE MAKES ME NUTS!

One day he and I took a little drive in his truck to the store so he could buy a carton of cigerettes and I could get a soda. Well, we were driving a long (he drives like he’s 79 too, 30 in a 40) and I noticed his seat belt light was lit up on his dashboard.  I said “why is that light on? We’re both buckled up.” He said “no we’re not!” I said “huh? It sure looks like we are” He said “looks can be deceiving.” He told me that he just puts he seat belt around him and kind of tucks it to look like he’s buckled up. I asked him why and he said it’s because of the seat belt law. He makes it look like he’s buckled up so that he doesn’t get pulled over and get a ticket,  but he doesn’t buckle up because he wants to rebel against the seat belt law. He’s ”STICKING IT TO THE MAN”……..UGGGGHHH HE IS SO STUBBORN!! Then he proceeds to tell me about how he was in a horrific accident once that threw him accross the vehicle into the windshield on the passenger side and broke his arm. It sounded terrible. I said “and that didn’t teach you to buckle up?” He said “no that just made him rebel even more”?!?!? What I feak I thought!!! He said he went to jail that night because he cussed out the cop that showed up on scene (FREAK). Oh what a terrible decision I made to move into this house with the old freak of a man! He never ever showers. Like I said he’s been home now for 3 weeks and he has not showered once. Not one time! To top it off his toothbrush and tooth paste has been sitting in the same spot for the entire 3 weeks. His toothbrush is dry everyday, telling me that he has not used it once. That could explain why he has only one tooth on the upper right side of his mouth, no front teeth at all, very few on the left side and I’m not sure if he even has lower teeth. Oh and guess what? He went to his doctor today for his check up and they told him he couldnt’t take his physical untill the 15th of this month. That means he will be here for sure 12 MORE DAYS! I’m going to lose my mind!!! I HAVE TO MOVE FAST! I CAN’T STAND HIM ANY MORE!!!!! I’M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND! GOD HELP ME!     

PS…Now I see why my big sister divorced him!